love is the answer for most of the questions in my heart
i dont want to be by myself anymore. i thought that eventually something would happen, i figured i'd make enough changes in my life that somehow that would change my circumstances but it hasn't. and i'm left sitting here at night over analyzing what/when i screwed up. i think about how i look (physically) and what i say and how i say it and if for some reason im not coming off as someone whose looking for a relationship, or to put it better is open for a relationship.

i thought that i could do this whole long distance fling thing i have, but its hard. it hurts to know that im not the only person he sees and i hate that his friends dont know what we are, and im tired of not knowing whats happening and whose feelings are sincere. im not a fling person, i need to stop forcing myself into this. i'm a relationship person, period. i need familiarity. i need consistence. i need trust.

most importantly, i need to be good enough for someone.