Sam: I'm Sam.
Benny: So I hear. I'm Benny.
Sam: With an 'n'?
Benny: Yea two of 'em. This is Joon.
Sam: With an 'n'?
Joon: One. You're out of your tree.
Sam: It's not my tree.

"There are three types of bones: a)wish bones b) jaw bones c) back bones. Wish bones dream of doing things; jaw bones talk about doing things; and back bones actually accomplish things. Be a back bone, as the future belongs to those who dare."

I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!
-- Dr. Seuss

okay so - i just took a shit and i was pretty pleased as it was going down. it all just kind of fell out of my butt. it stung a little first coming out but then it was easy going. i went to wipe and i looked at the tissue and it was COVERED IN BLOOD. i thought maybe it was my period? no, i ended that a week ago and this was all definitely coming from the anal region. i looked in the toilet and the water was RED - the poop was also brown with red mixed in. i've had poops before with a little blood swirled in that i figured was from irritation (like months ago two times tops), but nothing like this. i would have taken a picture but i was too taken aback by my own shit.

can anyone reassure me that i'm not going to die? i haven't eaten anything strange, or felt any pain if that helps.

So this week's been GREAT, really it has. I got a gigantic under-the-skin zit on my crotch (I've had them like, in my girlyparts before, oh so fun) and after it sat for a few days I tried popping that sucker. Most enjoyable zit popping ever. Now it's gone and I am not hurting.

My allergies have been acting up because of the stupid weather changes down here. Yesterday I was just sitting in bed when I swallowed a huge gooey blob of snot that dropped down from my nose. Delicious :|

Also, someone tell my cramps to stop lodging themselves in my colon/intestines. I swear I need to get back on birth control just so I'll stop having these horrible cramps.

I was recently diagnosed with Diverticulitis. I am on a low fiber diet, well that mixed with my anti biotics...every time I sit down to pee shit just falls out of my ass. Oh and my urine is brown from the anti biotics also. yay me

Word of advice:
Don't eat Double Fudge brownie ice cream with caramel syrup drizzled all over it for breakfast. Unless of course you want your poop to look like brownie batter.

I have the biggest, most grossest pimple on my back where my bra strap lays. And it HURTS!!

Okay so its not really huge or anything but its big and gross and is causing me pain!

The end

and the world spins madly on.

Every word that he says is a dagger in me!
In my life, there's been no one like him anywhere
Anywhere, where he is...
If he asked, I'd be his.

You know that feeling you get when the skin from a piece of popcorn gets stuck in your gums? Well, I'd been having that on and off for several days, but couldn't get rid of it. I tried brushing it out, I tried flossing it out, nothing. Finally, I figured it was just my gums being odd and there was nothing actually in there.

Well. Today at lunch I went at it with the end of my drinking straw and finally got something out. What it is/was/whatever, I have no fucking idea at all. It was roughly the size/shape/consistency of a green pepper seed, so maybe that? Though I haven't a clue how one would have gotten in there. It was all brownish/yellow from being stuck in there for so long, but, much to my surprise, it didn't smell at all.

And now there's a nice little hole in my gum where the thingy used to reside. Perhaps a trip to the dentist is in order. =/

everybody sees right through
all the static, that is, dear
everyone but you!

you know it's funny
when i think it through

she calls me baby then she won't call me.
says she adores me and then she ignores me.

i'm yours if you want and
i can be yours to spend your life with
i can be yours; we'll hide indoors
and be petrified of the world

and if you want to stay in at night
i can relate to that
and if you feel like your heart's dried up
i can relate to that
and if you need someone at your side
i am out there
i'm out there
out there.

No more of this living dying
Just scientific analyzing

Nothing too great, but whatever.
Last week I was at my friend's salon getting my hurr did and I was on my period. I had had massive cramps for like 2 days at this point. So I'm talking to my other friend that is the receptionist and all the sudden I felt like I had pissed my pants. I'm all "uh hold on, I have to go to the bathroom" so i get into the bathroom and pull down my pants and there is a MASSIVE blood clot on my pad. Now I got freaked out because I've never passed a blood clot before, so I picked it up to make sure I didn't just pass a fetus or something. It was all warm and squishy and I'm like mmkay blood clot and washed my hands 8 times. GOD it felt good to push that fucker out though. My cramps were instantly gone.

Also, when my boyfriend and I first started seeing each other, we went out to this pizza place downtown. He lived like 4 blocks from it and it was summer time so we walked. We got a veggie pizza that had tons of green peppers and it was suuuper delicious, however, I discovered that day that green peppers do not agree with me. Afterwards he suggested that we walk around downtown for a bit and I said okay, even though my tummy hurt a little. So at one point, and keep in mind this is a sunday evening in a not so big city, so we're on this stretch of downtown that is nothing but office buildings that are closed for the weekend. AKA no accessible bathroom. You know how when you're going to have diarrhea, it hits you really suddenly and you can hold it for MAYBE five minutes? Yeah, it hit me. I had no idea how to hide it from him, keep in mind this is an adorable boy that I had just started seeing. I told him I needed a bathroom and he said the closest one was about six blocks away back at the pizza place. Fabulous. I had no way to hide it, I had to have epic diarrhea. So I started walking really fast, like a block ahead of him, haha, and i was having this massive panic attack because I was so sure I wasn't going to make it. Apparently walking really quickly stimulates my bowels because it just made it worse. I was ready to just go back into an alley and drop my pants. Thankfully I  JUST made it to the bathroom and when I came out he was laughing at me. It was pretty mortifying at the time, but we're still together so all is well. And thats the story of how I almost shit my pants on like the 3rd date with my now-boyfriend. thnxbye.

everytime you throw a fit
i cant decide if youre full of it

everytime you state your case
the more i want to punch your face

mr ambulence driver
im right here beside her
and though il live, somehow iv found
mr ambulence driver
im not a real survivor
cuz im wishing i was the one
that wasnt going to be here anymore

I shall tell you a great secret my friend. Do not wait for the last judgement, it takes place everyday.
- Albert Camus